The Moment You Stop Ageing.

I’m taking our mother on a nature holiday for her 80th. Mum is 5 foot nothing of Yorkshire brilliance. I’m quite short but whenever I go home I am so much taller than Mum I feel a bit out of sorts. Never challenge Mum. You have to have all of of the saints behind you. I took her to what we call Cleggy Beach (Cleethorpes) and we sat and had tip top fish and chips, with Whitney, by the sea.

Mum is unstoppable. Not interested in anyone’s bobbins. And I was thinking, what a force our mum is. I’m from a family of women who make the SAS look like amateurs. I once found my sister on the floor in the bathroom, blood like you can’t believe. Pouring. And I said, what the fuck is this? And she said, a man was going to glass the barmaid so I grabbed it before it hit her face. I said, you did, what? We were looking at her hand and she said as I was wrapping her up, Better my hand than her face.

I’m the weakling of a super team, but very much looking to all not ageing together. We’ve all made the decision to not get any older. Mum is now the oldest of her line. No one has made it to 80 on her line. A tiny marvel of borrowed time. Long may it continue.

It’s not always easy to be a strong woman. Sometimes it is very hard. My sister and I have our mother to thank for being a quiet fury

Mum